We're home.

Well, we made it. All three of us in our little family are home now. Yesterday morning, our nurse Sue called us and told us that it was official, that she had received the discharge paperwork and would be down with her now-certified infant car seat when she was finished with a meeting. Man, what a breath of fresh air. Literally. Hospital air is so dry, I think anyone would be sick after an extended stay there, even if they weren't infirmed in the first place.

Speaking of sick, the extended stress and discomfort actually made Amanda ill--she's fighting some sort of virus and is feeling really bad. Of course we read up and asked about what happens if mama becomes sick and like most childcare science, answers vary from "wear a mask" to "stay away". One thing that has been proven is that mother's milk passes on antibodies to the baby, even newly-produced ones meant to fight a mother's actual illness. I've been trying to take over the bottle feeding so she can get rest and beat the virus.

My dad Curt and his friend Arlene did us a huge favor yesterday and got us some groceries so we don't have to leave the house. They even went so far as to go to Metropolitan Market to get us the blueberry juice we like, and even bought Amanda some ice cream. We can't say how much we deeply appreciate this!

Until this morning, Clare had been drinking less and more often. We think it was symptomatic of all of the chaos, the discharge, the car seat and the car ride, and the fact that she had never been to her own house before, with new smells, new (and far less) sounds, new bassinet and sleeping arrangements, the dog, kitties--a lot for a preemie mind to process. It's weird how basic her life is, and if she has to deal with new stimuli, she has to shift energy away from basic life stuff, like digestion, breathing, and eating. No offense, but she's more like a worm or a reptile than a human being. And our nurse Sue said that all of that would go away once she hit term. One time she was attending to a new mother in the mothers and newborns section of the hospital, the one where the term babies room in with their parents for a night then go home. Sue noticed that the woman was getting ready to nurse the baby and asked her if she neede any help, and the mother said no. Sue was a disbelieving and kind of hung around until she saw the baby sidle right up and start nursing. It dawned on her; the baby was a term baby, not a preemie. The kid didn't have to learn how to eat!

Amanda spent yesterday afternoon (even though she was sick) finishing readying the room for the baby. This meant writing down all of the gifts and all of the names of the people that gave them that have lived in the middle of the floor of the room since the end of May, sorting them between "now" for preemies and "later" for when she grows (which we still don't really believe will happen yet) and storing the later ones, plus all the sheets, diapers, and blankets that you all have given us. If you haven't received a thank you, don't feel put out; you will get one soon. The nursery is now a comforting place, with a rocking chair, the bassinet, the changing table/drawers, the armoire and the storage shelves, plus a cool think green rug in the middle, and a small, portable stereo CD player.

Being out of the hospital is strange now. We don't know her current vital signs, her temperature, and now have a more vague idea of how much she ate last and when she will need to feed again. She seems different too; less programmed to wake at 7:30 AM for doctor's rounds and every three hours afterwards, less interested in sleep, more interested in being cuddled and taking in her surroundings, sometimes staring at us or things for long periods of time.

We think she's becoming a real baby!